5 categories of worst performing dads

1. The blamers:

These set of people are specially made! They are some special kinda saints. They blame their inability to feed their families on employers, politicians.

‘The Governor didn’t pay our arrears, do you want me to go and steal?’

So they scream at their wives and children. It was never their fault they chose to rely on certificates, No! Their mates who are billionaires today are probably with 2 heads. Trust me, these papas will blame their torn shirts on Buhari.

2. The past-dwellers:

‘While I was your age, I had no one to send me to school’

‘As a student, I ate Amala with palm oil, but you want to drain my pocket with MR. Biggs’

So they yell whenever their children ask for pocket money. Isn’t it shameful, a child you brought to this world, to deny him/her at every given chance? These sets of dad are the locals who never realized they are failures for giving their children the exact kinda life their own parents gave. The life they lived, they should never give their children, what a shame!

3. The IDGAF crew

These ones don’t care if the child is not up and doing, of a fact, it is a prayer come through; once the child makes 2 failing attempts at an exam, the next thing is:

‘Tell me the trade you want to learn, your star doesn’t support education’

They are already scared of paying 140k as tuition, they are so short-sighted. They can’t see the bigger picture, obviously, one child cannot kill his/her father. They play lotto with futures, even the bright ones.

4. Father of all nations:

These set are hypocrites, they are like birds which raise families everywhere they go. Mostly they are travelers due to their jobs and hence use every relocation to spring up another family. These set are usually very good at it such that not each one of the individual mothers and children will have an understanding they have numerous step mothers, brothers and sisters until the demise of the Olori Oko!

5. The lotto ambassadors:

These ones are usually with one single dress as they’d rather bet their last cash rather than add one more dress to their wardrobe. This single shirt they have is probably rolled up from their bum-bums up the back of their necks; truly they don’t give a shyte. You will always see them nap and perm some imaginary numbers to enrich the pockets of their Korean masters.

The hypocrisy of these set is second to none, they are non-advisable, neither are they opened to ideas. The story of a man who won 100 million naira 12 years ago is the testimony keeping them going; sad enough, they will never win 10,000 naira until grave calls!

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